Sometimes we as people just need a fresh start. We need change to help us live. That's why girls get new haircuts, new wardrobes, and why guys buy new cars, new technological "toys" etc. It's not necessarily that it's cool or that it makes us look good -- though that certainly is a factor.
It's the fact that though we're creatures of habit and routine, sometimes we end up stuck in a rut. And when this happens... man, do we feel it. We become sluggish, lethargic. We get fed up with our lives and start to view them as boring or humdrum. We can't find satisfaction in the things we used to. Sometimes, we even let all of this lead us to depression.
Little wonder that this is the leading cause of the mid-life crisis.
So I'm going to take a minute and shove a little personal philosophy at you. See, I happen to think that change is a healthy thing (with some notable exceptions.) In order to take proper care of ourselves, we must seek change as people.
This does not mean that you should shave your head and flash your twins to a random stranger at Mardi Gras.
My apologies to all of you who are fighting down disappointment.
It means that we must challenge ourselves. Learning a new skill, reading something enlightening (or even just a genre you haven't tried before), and -- you guessed it -- eating healthy and exercising -- are a few ways that we can challenge ourselves in healthy ways.
You knew I'd bring it back around.
I've been talking a lot to people lately -- people who want to shed some pounds, but say that they're stuck in a rut. They'll try something when things aren't so hard. Well, let me put this to you. Logically, how can you get out of a monotonous rut but to make a positive change? Aaaaand isn't losing weight a great positive change?
So logically, shedding pounds is not something you do after you get out of the rut, but something that will pull you out.
Deep, right?
Sometimes, like with my recent situation, change slaps you in the head and says "get off your ass and come with me." Then you're tossed head over heels into a new life, a new job, a new situation. If you're really lucky, you'll be tossed in without any sort of anchor to your old life. Maybe even in another state, another coast or another country. Like, y'know... Australia.
This happens to me a lot, can you tell?
But other times, change is being lazy. You have to get up all by yourself, slap change over the head and say "get off your ass and come with me." Which is an awesome role reversal, if you really stop to think about it. And it takes infinitely more courage than riding the wave like I've been doing.
Even better, when you start the party yourself and decide to lose weight, you can tack on all sorts of other things. Like learning a new skill (for me -- cooking and T'ai chi.) Read Shakespeare if the mood takes you (just bear in mind that Shakespeare was rather dirty at times and don't be shocked, because I warned you.) Go see a musical or a basketball game. Buy a CD of foreign music. Make dinner for friends. Take a weekend trip to a city you've never been to (even if it's that weird little ghost town thirty miles away that you have to look up on a map just so you'll remember the name. I live in one of those towns now.)
I know, I know. "But Jami, isn't that just superficial? Aren't we just running away from our real problems?" Well, no. Not if you choose not to. It's not that you're filling the world with meaningless little things to fill the real void that's there. You're learning to appreciate the smallest things that God's given. Because He gives us a lot, we just don't see it because we're too damned busy being stuck in that stupid rut.
Wednesday, September 23, 2009
Monday, September 21, 2009
Going Through "The Change": Not Just About Puberty
First of all, I have internet! Dodgy internet, it's true, but I should be able to get back on a schedule of some sort. Cross your fingers.
*****
Once you've lost pounds that can be measured with double digits, you begin to feel better. Your pants are fitting more loosely, you have more energy, modified eating habits. You may even see some physical slendering in your face, or count one less chin. It's a wonderful feeling.
Unfortunately, with this comes the fact that your body must modify to this lifestyle change. Now, I choose to see this as a good thing, but it's also a little frightening. You begin to feel sick after meals you would have been fine eating just a month or so back. You eat more often and feel sick -- again -- when you don't. Your chemical composition is beginning to change. Now, it may be more or less extreme depending on the person, but this is the point where we all realize one thing: the cord has been cut.
There's no going back now.
Suddenly you begin to long for the old days when you could eat half a tub of ice cream without breaking a sweat (though one seldom sweats when eating frozen goods) and you feel an odd sense of nostalgia that says "I guess this is it; I never will be that person again." Aaaand... if we're thinking logically, the natural response is "hell yeah!"
Unfortunately, even when the change is positive, it's natural to be terrified of going out of our comfort zone. And if food is a comfort... suddenly this positive life change feels more like putting your baby blanket through the shredder.
This, my friends, is not the easy part of losing weight. (Actually, I really can't think of an easy part, but if you come up with something, let me know.) "The Change" is the part where most of us go "holy crap! I've let go of the life-preserver!" So we cling back on to what's comfortable rather than swimming in the big, bad ocean where we could get swallowed up in the evils of experience and new adventures.
This is the time where we need extra motivation to let go and embrace the change with enthusiasm instead of shying away in fear.
So let go. And in the words of Dory in Finding Nemo: "just keep swimming, swimming, just keep swimming..."
...I couldn't help myself.
(12 lbs and counting.)
*****
Once you've lost pounds that can be measured with double digits, you begin to feel better. Your pants are fitting more loosely, you have more energy, modified eating habits. You may even see some physical slendering in your face, or count one less chin. It's a wonderful feeling.
Unfortunately, with this comes the fact that your body must modify to this lifestyle change. Now, I choose to see this as a good thing, but it's also a little frightening. You begin to feel sick after meals you would have been fine eating just a month or so back. You eat more often and feel sick -- again -- when you don't. Your chemical composition is beginning to change. Now, it may be more or less extreme depending on the person, but this is the point where we all realize one thing: the cord has been cut.
There's no going back now.
Suddenly you begin to long for the old days when you could eat half a tub of ice cream without breaking a sweat (though one seldom sweats when eating frozen goods) and you feel an odd sense of nostalgia that says "I guess this is it; I never will be that person again." Aaaand... if we're thinking logically, the natural response is "hell yeah!"
Unfortunately, even when the change is positive, it's natural to be terrified of going out of our comfort zone. And if food is a comfort... suddenly this positive life change feels more like putting your baby blanket through the shredder.
This, my friends, is not the easy part of losing weight. (Actually, I really can't think of an easy part, but if you come up with something, let me know.) "The Change" is the part where most of us go "holy crap! I've let go of the life-preserver!" So we cling back on to what's comfortable rather than swimming in the big, bad ocean where we could get swallowed up in the evils of experience and new adventures.
This is the time where we need extra motivation to let go and embrace the change with enthusiasm instead of shying away in fear.
So let go. And in the words of Dory in Finding Nemo: "just keep swimming, swimming, just keep swimming..."
...I couldn't help myself.
(12 lbs and counting.)
Saturday, September 12, 2009
Announcements: A Terrible Death to Die
I had to use that title for those of you who remember that call from summer camp/outdoor school.
I know I have not been terribly good about the MWF schedule this week, but I have been in the course of moving. Tomorrow, the boxes go in the car and I make the final drive to my destination -- where I will be camped out in a motel or an RV (no one's told me which) for the next two or three weeks, until the place I'll be living is ready for my roommate and me. So I will most likely have very intermittent internet access until this happens.
Now, I know what you're thinking. "Jami, that's why God invented Wi-fi." Well, that's true... but while you can count on things like that at a Marriott, this is a small, privately-owned establishment in a town with a population around 120. I just can't count on it being available without a stable home base. So I will try to get a post in a week, I can't guarantee, well... anything.
In the meantime, please keep talking. If you have anything you want to contribute, please do so! It'll give everyone something to read. Just comment at the end of this post. Have conversations. I'll check it out and jump in when I can, until I stop attempting to impersonate the dark ages (or at least the 1960s.)
On the plus side, I am approaching my first ten pounds lost. And with the fact that this community doesn't have a grocery store (or even a gas station or convenience store)... this could possibly be good for that whole "eating too much" habit of mine. (Don't worry, this does not mean I will be fasting for the next month. I promise.) So until we meet again: good luck, happy exercising, and take care.
...and now I want to say "this is Jami for KSVQ, signing off." When did I turn into a radio host?
I know I have not been terribly good about the MWF schedule this week, but I have been in the course of moving. Tomorrow, the boxes go in the car and I make the final drive to my destination -- where I will be camped out in a motel or an RV (no one's told me which) for the next two or three weeks, until the place I'll be living is ready for my roommate and me. So I will most likely have very intermittent internet access until this happens.
Now, I know what you're thinking. "Jami, that's why God invented Wi-fi." Well, that's true... but while you can count on things like that at a Marriott, this is a small, privately-owned establishment in a town with a population around 120. I just can't count on it being available without a stable home base. So I will try to get a post in a week, I can't guarantee, well... anything.
In the meantime, please keep talking. If you have anything you want to contribute, please do so! It'll give everyone something to read. Just comment at the end of this post. Have conversations. I'll check it out and jump in when I can, until I stop attempting to impersonate the dark ages (or at least the 1960s.)
On the plus side, I am approaching my first ten pounds lost. And with the fact that this community doesn't have a grocery store (or even a gas station or convenience store)... this could possibly be good for that whole "eating too much" habit of mine. (Don't worry, this does not mean I will be fasting for the next month. I promise.) So until we meet again: good luck, happy exercising, and take care.
...and now I want to say "this is Jami for KSVQ, signing off." When did I turn into a radio host?
Monday, September 7, 2009
Tips For Support Systems (Don't Shoot the Messenger)
It's almost as hard to support someone who's losing weight as it is to take the plunge yourself. You love them, and want the best for them. Maybe you have weight issues yourself and aren't ready to face them. Or maybe you're naturally rail-thin and energetic. Most likely... you're somewhere in between. And so you live through the moodiness, the hard work, you try to encourage them when they're up and support them when they're down. You are one of the things that makes their progress possible.
But let's face it. You're not them. Even if you're losing weight yourself, you're not in the same place as they are. Coming from a new perspective can be a very positive thing. However, it can also mean that you don't end up being so helpful as you'd like to be. So with love and affection in my heart, I have a few pointers for those who are trying to act as a support system for someone on the path to weight loss.
1) Know them. Be cognizant of their needs and of their personality. You won't always respond in the way they need, but realizing that "Sally doesn't respond well to criticism" or "Daren is a perfectionist" will help you handle things in a more positive and productive fashion.
2) On the same vein... be aware that they may not handle things like you would. Not only are their bodies different, their minds are different. They may be discouraged by something that would encourage you. They may not want to use the same exercise methods that you enjoy. Their pounds may not melt off by sticking to certain kinds of foods because their metabolism functions differently. And that's okay.
3) Remember that it isn't personal. You are incredible for helping them through one of the hardest things they've ever done. But when it comes to their weight loss, it's not about you. It's about their bodies. Their minds. And since they are going through a gigantic change... be aware that if they rail against you, they'll come back and apologize. But try to let it go and love them anyway.
4) When they've had a bad day... remember that no one wants negative reinforcement. If they've just gained a pound back, it is always better to say "I'm sorry... I know you can get back on track. Is there anything I can do to help? Do you need to talk about it?" Or something like that. Be positive. Do not take the opportunity to tell them what you see they've been doing wrong or to correct their perspective on X nutritional issue. There's a time and a place for that, but it's not now. Whether you realize it or not, you're kicking them when they're down. Even if you think you're being encouraging. You're not.
5) Never talk negatively about their body, even if it's only the body that used to be there. If they've lost fifty pounds, it is not okay to say "I'm so glad you've lost all that weight. I always hated watching you eat." (Forgive the extreme example, it came to the top of my head.) Regardless, it's a quick way to get yourself slapped. It's sort of like badmouthing someone's ex. Even if they never get back together, it's a dangerous business to insult something that used to be a part of you.
6) Tough love is one thing. Accountability is fine. But know their breaking point. Chances are, they already know what the problem is if something is going wrong. There's no need to reiterate that you know their problem too.
7) Let them talk. Sometimes, it's not about the advice you can give. I know you want to help, but sometimes they want to vent. Know the difference.
Now, everyone involves themselves in different ways. Sometimes it's a family member walking with you or helping you out. Sometimes it's a life coach. A roommate. That disgustingly thin friend that eats more and exercises less than anyone you know -- you know, the one whose metabolism you want to bottle and sell (with a free lifetime supply to yourself.) You might be the person with them through it all, or just the person they call to cry to. And those are all great. Thank you for what you do.
But try to remember that the wrong type of help is no help at all. We all need someone to go to when we're making hard decisions or rough changes. But it's better to go it alone than to have people who aren't as supportive as they think they are -- especially when they don't understand why.
But let's face it. You're not them. Even if you're losing weight yourself, you're not in the same place as they are. Coming from a new perspective can be a very positive thing. However, it can also mean that you don't end up being so helpful as you'd like to be. So with love and affection in my heart, I have a few pointers for those who are trying to act as a support system for someone on the path to weight loss.
1) Know them. Be cognizant of their needs and of their personality. You won't always respond in the way they need, but realizing that "Sally doesn't respond well to criticism" or "Daren is a perfectionist" will help you handle things in a more positive and productive fashion.
2) On the same vein... be aware that they may not handle things like you would. Not only are their bodies different, their minds are different. They may be discouraged by something that would encourage you. They may not want to use the same exercise methods that you enjoy. Their pounds may not melt off by sticking to certain kinds of foods because their metabolism functions differently. And that's okay.
3) Remember that it isn't personal. You are incredible for helping them through one of the hardest things they've ever done. But when it comes to their weight loss, it's not about you. It's about their bodies. Their minds. And since they are going through a gigantic change... be aware that if they rail against you, they'll come back and apologize. But try to let it go and love them anyway.
4) When they've had a bad day... remember that no one wants negative reinforcement. If they've just gained a pound back, it is always better to say "I'm sorry... I know you can get back on track. Is there anything I can do to help? Do you need to talk about it?" Or something like that. Be positive. Do not take the opportunity to tell them what you see they've been doing wrong or to correct their perspective on X nutritional issue. There's a time and a place for that, but it's not now. Whether you realize it or not, you're kicking them when they're down. Even if you think you're being encouraging. You're not.
5) Never talk negatively about their body, even if it's only the body that used to be there. If they've lost fifty pounds, it is not okay to say "I'm so glad you've lost all that weight. I always hated watching you eat." (Forgive the extreme example, it came to the top of my head.) Regardless, it's a quick way to get yourself slapped. It's sort of like badmouthing someone's ex. Even if they never get back together, it's a dangerous business to insult something that used to be a part of you.
6) Tough love is one thing. Accountability is fine. But know their breaking point. Chances are, they already know what the problem is if something is going wrong. There's no need to reiterate that you know their problem too.
7) Let them talk. Sometimes, it's not about the advice you can give. I know you want to help, but sometimes they want to vent. Know the difference.
Now, everyone involves themselves in different ways. Sometimes it's a family member walking with you or helping you out. Sometimes it's a life coach. A roommate. That disgustingly thin friend that eats more and exercises less than anyone you know -- you know, the one whose metabolism you want to bottle and sell (with a free lifetime supply to yourself.) You might be the person with them through it all, or just the person they call to cry to. And those are all great. Thank you for what you do.
But try to remember that the wrong type of help is no help at all. We all need someone to go to when we're making hard decisions or rough changes. But it's better to go it alone than to have people who aren't as supportive as they think they are -- especially when they don't understand why.
Friday, September 4, 2009
The Devil Made Me Eat It
Eating out is the devil.
Seriously. Think about it.
Every time I go out, I'm confronted with a tantalizing menu. Mouthwatering burgers. Sizzling steaks. Pasta that makes your tastebuds sing. And that's without ever looking at the dessert menu or the wine list. The salads and healthy options look sadly inadequate when compared to these culinary temptations.
And then, inevitably, I order a French dip and a mojito and claim that "the devil made me do it."
See?
Fortunately for me, I've learned that eating out doesn't have to be hell on my weight loss. The biggest factor for me? Being honest about it. If I'm out with friends or co-workers, I'm very clear about the fact that I'm trying to lose weight. Why? Because this way, I don't have an excuse to go after that burger. I may have the mojito -- after all, I'm out with friends -- but there's no reason to go overboard. And even if no one reminds you that you shouldn't have anything, it's already out there. I'm using my inordinate amount of pride to my advantage.
Also, I'm finding that there are better ways to eat. I don't necessarily have to get a salad if it doesn't sound good. Maybe I can get a grilled chicken sandwich without sauce. Add some bell peppers and onions. Mushrooms. Water. Try not to get caught in the "starving children in Africa" ploy that somehow magically compels you to clean all the crumbs from your plate.
What's more? Plan for it. If you want to splurge, fit it into your eating plan like you'd fit an appointment into your schedule. It's no reason to guilt yourself into oblivion. Like I said before, weight loss isn't about denying yourself everything. It's about learning alternatives to unhealthy habits.
Eating out is the devil. But food is not a sin. We just have to be smarter eaters.
Seriously. Think about it.
Every time I go out, I'm confronted with a tantalizing menu. Mouthwatering burgers. Sizzling steaks. Pasta that makes your tastebuds sing. And that's without ever looking at the dessert menu or the wine list. The salads and healthy options look sadly inadequate when compared to these culinary temptations.
And then, inevitably, I order a French dip and a mojito and claim that "the devil made me do it."
See?
Fortunately for me, I've learned that eating out doesn't have to be hell on my weight loss. The biggest factor for me? Being honest about it. If I'm out with friends or co-workers, I'm very clear about the fact that I'm trying to lose weight. Why? Because this way, I don't have an excuse to go after that burger. I may have the mojito -- after all, I'm out with friends -- but there's no reason to go overboard. And even if no one reminds you that you shouldn't have anything, it's already out there. I'm using my inordinate amount of pride to my advantage.
Also, I'm finding that there are better ways to eat. I don't necessarily have to get a salad if it doesn't sound good. Maybe I can get a grilled chicken sandwich without sauce. Add some bell peppers and onions. Mushrooms. Water. Try not to get caught in the "starving children in Africa" ploy that somehow magically compels you to clean all the crumbs from your plate.
What's more? Plan for it. If you want to splurge, fit it into your eating plan like you'd fit an appointment into your schedule. It's no reason to guilt yourself into oblivion. Like I said before, weight loss isn't about denying yourself everything. It's about learning alternatives to unhealthy habits.
Eating out is the devil. But food is not a sin. We just have to be smarter eaters.
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