Monday, February 1, 2010

Cry Freedom: Rebelling Against Misery, Social Norms and Stupid Plush Toys

Ah, February. The month that doesn't feel like winter and doesn't feel like Spring. The bastard 28-day page on the calendar, the keeper of the dreaded Singles' Awareness Day and the month where you can't walk into Target without being nauseated by the sight of cheesy plush toys as far as the eye can see. Even the warmer weather -- and therefore the inevitable sleeveless shirt and short ensemble -- is right around the corner. It's a great month for getting in shape.

It's an even better month for getting fat.

Seriously, folks. The "new year smell" of January has worn off, leaving us with the same old stench of normality. Sweets and chocolate and those little candy hearts that everyone likes to eat but no one actually knows what they're made out of -- except maybe pure sugar. During Valentine's Day, many singles (such as myself) order pizza and ice cream with other girls and watch the Lethal Weapon movies out of sheer, stubborn rebellion.

Okay, so maybe I'm alone on the Lethal Weapon thing.

However, February is a month of social awareness. Whether you're hooking up, breaking up, or pointedly ignoring the whole romantic charade, it's there. And social awareness can often lead to a change in habits. For some, it's wanting to fit into that little sundress or the gown you're going to wear on your date. For others, it's saying "screw it, I'm done with you all. My only true friends are Ben and Jerry."

So in a month of potential extremes, why choose now to get myself back on track? Perhaps it's the weather. Maybe it's me wanting to look better in a bathing suit this year (see a previous post about the Swimsuit Blues.) Or maybe... maybe it's just a matter of sheer, stubborn rebellion. Now that I think on it, I'm nearly certain that it's this last. I've had enough. Enough of being certain every February that something is wrong with me because I haven't met someone. Enough of saying that the newness of January has passed me by, and so I've missed the proverbial bus of New Years' resolutions. And enough of being miserable because I don't meet my own astronomical standards. Who on earth needs something as arbitrary as a calendrical change to figure out that their lives could be different? I haven't missed the bus. I'm just walking to the beat of my own drum. I can't put it off anymore, it's only making me frustrated, miserable (and angsty) all over again. Screw it, I'm done waiting for someone or something else to pull me back up.

The future is no place to place your better days.

2 comments:

  1. =) go jami, go!
    If you ARE compelled to action by calendar change despite the arbitrariness of the idea, a little googling reveals why February is a good month for your journey.
    Forget candy hearts, focus on your blood-pumping heart. February is American Heart Awareness Month.
    Ooh, and you mentioned freedom: February 1 is National Freedom Day. Good choice.
    February is apparently also: International Boost Self-Esteem Month, International Expect Success Month, and Pull Your Sofa Off The Wall Month.

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  2. Thanks for all the great info! That's awesome - and unintentionally appropriate. Incidentally, I chose "Cry Freedom" because the last line of my post ("The future is no place to place your better days") is from a song by the name of "Cry Freedom" by the Dave Matthews Band. :)

    Music geek, what can I say.

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