Shooting The Scale Is Not Cathartic

I had a disappointing day.

You see, since I was at that orientation for the first part of this week (which actually went impressively well, thanks to a smile and a gung-ho attitude) I didn't get a chance to weigh in on Monday like I usually do. But I'd sort of been looking forward to it, because I was so proud of how I'd done the last three days or so. I hadn't eaten between meals, had decent portions, plenty of fruit and salad, and drank nothing but water. I even went on a mile-long hike (a good portion of which was uphill.) So I stepped on the scale, expecting to celebrate a significant drop.

But the only thing to drop was my jaw.

I'd gained two pounds.

Somehow, I managed to maintain enough control of myself to not throw the scale against the wall. (I didn't refrain from tossing a few choice words at it, however.) How on earth did this happen? I'm still not sure I know. I didn't even take seconds, opted out of dessert... was it the multvitamin I'd forgotten to pack? Suddenly, I was depressed and full of frustration at the fact that it took so much effort to lose six pounds, and nothing at all to destroy my progress. I didn't even know what I'd done wrong. (Come to it, I'm still not entirely sure.)

So what do I do in this situation?

My first response was to sit down and cry for a minute. I only cry when I'm angry, you see -- and I was pissed. But it was probably a healthy thing to mourn the loss of progress, the frustration, the dead end. And for a minute, I wanted to give up. Okay, more like twenty minutes.

But here's where I have to stop and pay attention to my own progress: my first response was not to eat. I was so angry at myself that I decided instead to exercise. To make up for what I'd done. Sure, for a moment I regarded it as fitting punishment. But slowly, as I worked, that wore away and I felt better. The endorphins started to flow, and I calmed down. I felt better. And then I looked at the bucket list we put together, and remembered that if I stopped, I would never get to have any of these things if I copped out now.

Another positive point? I realized that I am feeling full after smaller amounts from eating less at that retreat. So I may have gained weight, but I've gained an extra tool to help me be more effective later. And because I exercised my stress and disappointment away, I had more energy to be active throughout the day, effectively helping me to use my frustration to redouble my efforts.

Maybe it wasn't such a disappointing day after all.